Raising Elves

As wild as nature. Myself, parenting and natural remedies blog.

Choosing Happiness


I spent a long period of my life being unhappy.

Chasing everything I wasn’t being.

A huge portion of that unhappiness was chemical and I have written before about overcoming depression.

But the other side of that coin is where behaviour, thoughts and beliefs destroy happiness.

This is the side I am talking about today.

I sat down at the computer feeling Happy.

Sometimes I can’t believe how happy I am.

Not I am happy because of A, B or C.

Just happy. Or maybe, not unhappy.

Content. In the middle. Balanced. At peace. Grateful. Blessed.

Even when I am feeling low (chemically) I know I am happy. I have learned the difference between feeling sad in my body and sad in my mind.

I struggle to be around unhappy people nowadays. I am afraid to go back there, you see.

Not necessarily people suffering from depression or an illness or those in chronic pain.

People who choose unhappiness.

Complainers, begrudgers, critics. Those waiting for you to slip up. Those who seem to be always lacking and seeking happiness in things or experiences.

But, are we all not a bit of everything? A wise voice crops up.

Nobody wants to identify with an unhappy person or a moan or an over-critic.

But we all have a bit of everything in us, in different ways and amounts. That is part of the human condition.

What we can control, I have come to believe, is that we can overfeed or starve these different parts.

And all parts, good or bad, need to be fed. Some more than others.

If we over-feed our thoughts of desire, especially the unrealistic ones, we become unhappy because we are living in want or lack. We stop living in the moment.

If we starve our thoughts of desire, even the unrealistic ones, we become unhappy because we are not striving for anything, we lose our dreams and ambition. We become unsettled and unfocused.

It’s about finding the balance and for me, happiness has become more about the grey area of balance than a black or white thing.

the voice

As always, thanks for reading.

Laura x


18 thoughts on “Choosing Happiness

  1. Great post Laura, I too find the complainers very hard to deal with!

  2. Totally agree. It’s that balance between the good things, the bad things, anxiety, desire, dreams, work, life and all the rest of it that matters. You need just the right amount of each, over feed any of them and then one aspect totally takes over so we focus on the overwhelmingly bad aspect and neglect the others.

    Great post.

  3. I agree…kind of. I’m normally a happy and ‘try to see the bright side of things’ person but when my depression hits I can’t help it….no matter how much I try to carry on and be happy I still end up in a dark place where I can’t see any hope and I don’t choose that….I just have to ride it out it’s like someone else takes over my thinking.

    • Of course Yaz. There are many different levels of depression and many different treatments for it. When we are in the midst of it, surviving is the most important goal.

  4. Great post. I do think that anyone with no experience of depression thinks it’s a simple thing to ‘cop yourself on’, but you know otherwise, that is why the message in this post is so important. Well done, and I hope you can continue to be happy.

    • Thanks Tric. I hope so too! Although I feel that having got through the circumstances of last few years without depression I feel I can get though anything.

  5. Wonderful post… One of those ones I wish I’d written! Happily sharing, you Lovely Soul xx

  6. Lovely post, Laura. So much wisdom x

  7. Really love this…I totally agree about being around negative people…I remember years ago an elderly lady explaining that if you are around someone negative that the basics of science dictate that they attract all your positive energy and leaving you feeling negative…it made so much sense to me and I’ve never forgotten. It is important to surround yourself with people that add to your life. Xx enjoy ‘happy’ x

  8. Gorgeous post. I completely agree. Surrounding ourselves with people who believe in us and share our dreams and hopes is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves x

  9. I really enjoyed this post & it made me think. Love the poem Shel Silverstein?

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