I spent a long period of my life being unhappy.
Chasing everything I wasn’t being.
A huge portion of that unhappiness was chemical and I have written before about overcoming depression.
But the other side of that coin is where behaviour, thoughts and beliefs destroy happiness.
This is the side I am talking about today.
I sat down at the computer feeling Happy.
Sometimes I can’t believe how happy I am.
Not I am happy because of A, B or C.
Just happy. Or maybe, not unhappy.
Content. In the middle. Balanced. At peace. Grateful. Blessed.
Even when I am feeling low (chemically) I know I am happy. I have learned the difference between feeling sad in my body and sad in my mind.
I struggle to be around unhappy people nowadays. I am afraid to go back there, you see.
Not necessarily people suffering from depression or an illness or those in chronic pain.
People who choose unhappiness.
Complainers, begrudgers, critics. Those waiting for you to slip up. Those who seem to be always lacking and seeking happiness in things or experiences.
But, are we all not a bit of everything? A wise voice crops up.
Nobody wants to identify with an unhappy person or a moan or an over-critic.
But we all have a bit of everything in us, in different ways and amounts. That is part of the human condition.
What we can control, I have come to believe, is that we can overfeed or starve these different parts.
And all parts, good or bad, need to be fed. Some more than others.
If we over-feed our thoughts of desire, especially the unrealistic ones, we become unhappy because we are living in want or lack. We stop living in the moment.
If we starve our thoughts of desire, even the unrealistic ones, we become unhappy because we are not striving for anything, we lose our dreams and ambition. We become unsettled and unfocused.
It’s about finding the balance and for me, happiness has become more about the grey area of balance than a black or white thing.
As always, thanks for reading.