I signed up to join the Moods of Motherhood blogging carnival to celebrate the launch of new book ‘Moods of Motherhood’ by Lucy H. Pearce.
I didn’t realise just a few days later I’d be writing an intense post about standing over the proverbial edge and looking down the steep cliffs of post natal depression. You can read it here if you like. I was going to save it for the carnival but I needed to post it then and there. I needed the release.
Writing a short post about how deep the depression can sometimes go was really cathartic for me as I could never say all of that through my voice. Writing is my expression.
Of course when it came to carnival day (today) I didn’t know if I wanted to re-post it or write something else.
Synchronicity seemed to take over as last night a couple of people shared that post on Facebook and my stats blew up out of nowhere.
I felt I needed to let people know I am OK. So, here I am- I am OK.
And that, I guess is the ever changing part of the moods of motherhood.
In any given day of motherhood I can jump from joy to fear to giddiness to worry to brightness to exhaustion to gratitude to the depths of despair to smugness to pulling my hair out to laughing my ass off to Jesus Mary and Holy Saint Joseph what did you do?
On a day to day basis, the moods of motherhood can be influenced by our desire to just get through the day. It is in ensuring our kid/s hierarchy of needs are met that our own are left behind. Every now and then, when you are in the eye of the storm, you stop for a moment and time stands still while you gaze at a little face and you feel it.
You feel that intense, primal love.
Your soul stirs from it’s slumber as you float in timeless awe of creation.
In the flash of a ticking clock you are back in time and someone is screaming, someone’s nappy is leaking shit everywhere, the kitchen looks like a bomb hit it, the dog is tapping her bowl for food, you really really need to go pee, still and the phone is ringing.
That eye of the storm moment, that is what I live for. That is what nourishes me and I will endure all the moods of motherhood just to receive it.
How about you? How would you describe your favourite moment or mood of motherhood?
To read more blogposts on The Moods of Motherhood and to enter a competition to win one of five copies of the book click here.