Raising Elves

As wild as nature. Myself, parenting and natural remedies blog.


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My heart, uninterrupted.

You know those old skeletons in your closet that you forgot about and just when you are ready to move on a bony hand grabs hold of your ankle and tries to take you down with it.

That was 2016.

Regardless, I rose again, dusted myself off and was more determined than ever to get out of this figurative shithole I have been bathing in for far too long now.

I’ve been hiding healing in a chrysalis for what feels like an age and I’m overcooked.

I’ve stood on this edge many times looking down, urging myself to jump but now I am looking up and out at the horizon.

I know that once I leap, I will say goodbye.

Goodbye to many things, and even people. Goodbye to unrequited love, to mind games and power plays. Goodbye to people pleasing and to imbalanced relationships. Goodbye to food, shopping and other such distracting ‘rewards’. Goodbye to being wasteful, goodbye to plastic and goodbye to hoarding. Goodbye to meat eating, to anger, to aggression. Goodbye to ‘checking in’ and lurking. Goodbye to parenting specialists, social research ‘evidence’, generalised guidelines. Goodbye to pressure and seriously, I mean it,

good riddance busyness.

If I do one thing from now on, I will be less busy.

I will rest. I will read. I will nap. I will free range parent. I will step back. I will take more baths. I will pray. I will stand in the grass, walk with the trees and I will whisper back to them. I will eat avocado and raw carrots and by the power of all creation I will find fresh Italian olives right here in Ireland and I will eat the bejaysus out of them. I will groom my dog and look into her beautiful eyes and feel my heart open. I will thank my girl cat for coming home and not leaving me. I will tolerate my boy cat. (It’s okay he has a sense of humour).

I will accept that some people will just never accept me. I will accept that I am an easy scapegoat and it’s a compliment because scapegoats are actually very strong people.

I will feel a field of energy surround my being, it will allow me to tread upon this planet with a glowing heart full of rose quartz-like crystal love, so open, so beaming like the over-enthusiastic lover that I am, and the Great Spirit will flow through me and touch everyone around me and they’ll glow when it touches them and they’ll feel so loved and so accepted that they’ll connect with their potential and it will spread. A wellness will spread and everyone will stop buying shit and start recycling things and going without, and eat only what they need so there’ll be no food shortage and they’ll feed the birds in the Winter and governments will supplement farmers to breed less and encourage people to eat less meat and they’ll feel the better for it as will our air and we’ll all come together and create a movement called “Reforestation” where we’ll all buy a field and fill it with trees and wildlife and return the Earth to the Earth.

Call me idealist, or rose tinted, nevertheless, that is what my heart sings when it is left uninterrupted.

That is my word for 2017. Uninterrupted.


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On starting school

It’s like all the colours on the page.

Splat.

splat

You can’t see the wood from the trees.

You know that somewhere in there lives joy and excitement.

As much as there is fear and grief floating -homeless- through the air.

A little bit of terror.

But it’s just all the colours on the page.

Splat.

Not an ounce of coordination or cooperation.

Just splat.

All the feelings.

Splat.

Stomach swollen. Throat swollen. Ribs sore.

Tears falling.

Wet paint.

Mulchy.

Cloudy.

splat2

 

Colour gone. Grey-brown murky splots of splat.

And that is the state of the page, now.

For now.

And then things will calm down.

And we’ll throw that page out and start again.

One colour at a time.